Help your child cultivate real, lasting confidence! In Kid Confidence, a licensed clinical psychologist and parenting expert offers practical, evidence-based parenting strategies to help kids foster satisfying relationships, develop competence, and make choices that fit who they are and want to become.
As parents, it’s heartbreaking to hear children say negative things about themselves. But as children grow older and begin thinking about the world in more complex ways, they also become more self-critical. Alarmingly, studies show that self-esteem, for many children, takes a sharp drop starting around age eight, and this decline continues into the early teen years. So, how can you turn the tide on this upsetting trend and help your child build genuine self-esteem?
With this guide, you’ll learn that self-esteem isn’t about telling kids they’re “special.” It’s about helping them embrace the freedom that comes with a quiet ego—a way of being in the world that isn’t preoccupied with self-judgment, and instead embraces a compassionate view of oneself and others that allows for both present awareness and personal growth. When kids are less focused on evaluating and comparing themselves with others, they are freer to empathize with others, embrace learning, and connect with the values that are bigger than themselves.
You’ll also discover how your child’s fundamental needs for connection, competence, and choice are essential for real self-esteem. Connection involves building meaningful and satisfying relationships that create a sense of belonging. Competence means building tangible skills. And choice is about being able to make decisions, figure out what matters, and choose to act in ways that are consistent with personal values. When children are able to fulfill these three basic needs, the question of “Am I good enough?” is less likely to come up.
If your child is suffering from low self-esteem, you need a nuanced parenting approach. Let this book guide you as you help your child create unshakeable confidence and lasting well-being.
“In her warm, accessible style, Eileen Kennedy-Moore has turned conventional thinking about self-esteem on its head. Speaking directly to parents, and to anyone who works with or cares about children, Kid Confidence makes a compelling argument for turning away from frantic attempts to pump up our children’s self-esteem. Instead, Kennedy-Moore lays out a plan to address the need for connection, competence, and choice—three critical factors at the heart of a ?quiet ego.’ It is possible to dive into any one chapter and emerge armed with practical suggestions. Better yet, read the whole book. This one is a game-changer.”
—Dawn Huebner, PhD, psychologist, parent coach, and author of Outsmarting Worry
“Kid Confidence is packed with surprising and realistic advice about how we can help kids stop worrying about if they are good enough. In her uniquely wonderful way, Kennedy-Moore also gives us the confidence to handle any parenting challenge.”
—Diane Debrovner, deputy editor at Parents magazine
“The best parenting resource I have seen in several years. Too many children and teens suffer from a negative inward focus on themselves that is self-critical and self-judgmental. Outwardly, they may seem anxious or depressed, worried or discouraged. Child and family psychologist Eileen Kennedy-Moore shows parents the road to helping children develop real self-esteem and ?a quiet ego’ through connection, competence, and choice. The book is firmly evidence-based, developmentally based, practically based, and it is fundamentally wise and compassionate.”
—Carol D. Goodheart, EdD, former president of the American Psychological Association
Eileen Kennedy-Moore, PhD, is a clinical psychologist based in Princeton, NJ, and mom of four. A trusted expert on children’s feelings and friendships, Kennedy-Moore is a professor for The Great Courses, serves on the advisory board for Parents magazine, and...
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